1776 — General George Trump: “King George 3, he writes me letters, the most beautiful letters. You should see them, so beautiful. Our spies tell me he’s planning on invading us. Now George, he was extremely strong and powerful in his denial. I don’t see any reason why he WOULD invade us.”
1814 — President James Trump: “Did the British burn the White House down? Who told you that? No, no, the White House is fine. We’re just doing some remodeling, long overdue. You know the previous administration, Jefferson, they left us with nothing, absolutely nothing. Terrible what they did, almost a crime, really. We’re doing great things with the White House right now, great things.”
1863 — President Abraham Trump: “Slavery? Yeah, that’s a shame. Somebody should look into that.”
1901 — President Theodore “Teddy” Trump: “Speak loudly, and conceal your small stick.”
1932 — Citizen Trump: “I tell you, that President Hoover, he’s the best, the absolute best. Lots of people tell me how great he is, what an amazing job he’s doing. The election in November, against that socialist Roosevelt, well it’s not even going to be close. Hoover’s going to win it going away, mark my words.”
1945 — President Franklin Delano Trump: “Defeating Hitler? Well, it’s really going to be up to the governors. I hear there’s a lot of great things, great ideas in some of these states. Not all of them, I mean we’ve got a few whiners, complaining they don’t have enough tanks. We’ve got plenty of tanks, never seen such complainers. But you know, this isn’t really our responsibility. It’s up to the governors, and if any of them need some help, we’re here as backup.”
1962 — President John F. Trump: “We are so going to the moon, and all the other planets. I, me, we’ve got the most incredible plan. It’s spectacular, never happened, no one’s ever thought of this. Are you ready… SPACE FORCE. We’re going to own outer space. Not hard at all, it’s going to be easy. We’ve got the best people working on the camouflage spacesuits, believe me.”
1987 — President Ronald Trump: “Mr. Gorbachev, that’s a heck of a wall you’ve got there! Do you know where I can get one of those?”
2006 — Senator and Future President Barack Trump: “Well you’ve got a lot of very fine people in America, just the absolute best. And there’s some other people too, not quite sure what they’re doing, they make a lot of noise, but okay, whatever. No one’s really paying any attention to them. They’re Losers, capital L, Losers. They know who they are.”
February 26, 2020 — President Donald Trump: “And again, when you have 15 people, and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero, that’s a pretty good job we’ve done.”