It's time, people, for you to join the presidential race for the White House in 2016.
This is not an original idea. Two dozen candidates - and counting! - have made themselves available, many declared and others waiting in the wings and out in the lobbies and forming committees to consider the opportunity in depth.
And opportunity, there is.
Frank Bruni has let his personal cat out of the bag in his op-ed column for this morning's New York Times: "My Road To The White House".
Excited potential aspirants, go below the symbol ...
Bruni means to join the GOP ranks for this purpose. With fallen-liberal-Republican Linc Chafee adding his household name to a growing field of Democrats, both slates are expanding by the day. Yesterday, it seemed they were expanding by the hour.
Come on, you wannabes out there. Your time is nigh. The field is wide open. I am here to welcome you and consult on your road to success. Success, that is, in running. Actually winning anything is unlikely ... and totally unnecessary. It's the being there that counts.
There are some important preliminaries.
Get glasses for seriousness. And fasten on a good hair style for all the camera close ups. Start losing weight with some faddish yet obviously American diet-of-choice. Write a book fast; self-publishing is readily available and anyway, it's the cover that counts. Better yet, just design a cover for a book that "Is eagerly awaited: to be released next month." Sign it "As Told To" so you'll look important, yet too busy to self-aggrandize. Campaign buttons are cheap. So are lawn signs.
You're not well known? No problem. Bruni explains:
In a recent Quinnipiac poll, 69 percent of respondents said they didn't know enough about [Carly] Fiorina to have any opinion of her, 60 percent said the same about [Ben] Carson, and 56 percent said that about [Lindsey] Graham ...
Political experience clearly isn't required. It may not even be desirable. So, campaign on
not having held office. And you don't need support at the outset. After all, you're your Own Person. Look at the number of candidates who aren't even within striking distance of Fox's threshold. CNN apparently will squeeze you on to its televised stage for a second - or maybe third - debate panel.
You'll need a slogan. I'll leave that to you. After all, you know you best.
Celebrity awaits. Maybe a cable TV show after your appearances as The Forgotten Candidate. You'll be the envy of the neighborhood. And the stories you can tell your grandchildren ...