So I don't usually do these sort of diaries but I really needed to get this off my chest. I put DKE tag since you're the community I'm closest too.
So as I stated I'm last Democrat/liberal left in my immediate family. The funny thing is this wasn't always the case. In fact, back in 1996 my parents were hardcore Democrats who loved Clinton. In 2000 they both cast their votes for Gore and weren't happy about the whole Florida debacle. They were even calling Katharine Harris a "witch" for stealing the election. My, how much I miss those days. I was too young to really follow much of what was going on, but I did consider myself as a Democrat (because my parents were at the time). Then it happened, in 2004 out of nowhere they told me they were voting for Bush. I didn't really think too much about it as it would be about another year before I would have an interest in politics. My junior year I took an AP US History class. As I learned the history behind the two parties, it solidified my views as a liberal Democrat. By my senior an AP Government class had sparked so much interest in politics I had taken it upon myself to learn all the members of congress and the historical leaders of the congress. It was around this time that I noticed I was slowly drifting apart from family ideologically. Right before I went off to college I decided to come out to my dad in a letter. He took it initially better than I expected though his main concern was that I would get AIDS or some other disease >_> . I was about to go tell my mom next but he stopped me telling me it was way too soon I held off and left for college the next week.
The 2006 midterms were the first elections that I really watched intently. I began slowly following all the competitive races. Although I was one month shy of turning 18 for the election, I still took part in watching the CA Governor debates and getting involved with my college Democrats chapter. I was just as excited as everyone else to see the Democrats win back both houses of congress. Ever since that election I've been very interested in following all sorts of political races. It would be a little over year before I discovered Swing State Project. At the time there was a good deal of hype coming from an open seat in Mississippi. A Democratic candidate, Travis Childers, was looking to pull off a nice win in a deep red district. I was looking for a site which would be following the race. And that's how I came to find the Swing State Project. Ever since then I've been a swingnut for life.
By the time 2008 election came my parents were solidly in the McCain camp. Initially my mom had been a backer of Hillary in the primaries as was I. But the primary defeat turned her solidly to McCain, something I couldn't really comprehend on my end. Sure I was a little bummed that Hillary didn't win but there was no way I was going to vote for McCain (especially after the Palin pick). Obama had way more in common with me anyways. They were pretty much neutral on Obama and didn't have anything positive or negative at all to say for him. The most dissappointing was hearing that my folks were voting yes on Prop 8. No amount of debating or evidence I provided them was able to convince them. Fast forward to present andaow all I can hear from are the same old fox new talking points. My little brother just registered as Republican (as my parents had been Republicans as he was growing up). They are all voting for Romney solely because they want to vote against Obama. At this point, I've pretty much given up on talking about politics to them. Thankfully I live in the very blue friendly CA, where the state Republicans are broke and "dying at the box office."
While I can tolerate the ideological divide between my folks and me, I do get frustrated with them still not exactly being cool with me being gay. Don't get me wrong I do love my parents a lot. It is just that they can be mildly to moderately homophobic at times. As I said earlier I still hadn't come out to my mom yet. I had already done my coming out in college so everyone knew I was basically out to everyone but a few in my family. So I'm coming home for spring break during my junior year, and one morning out of the blue she plants the question "So I've hearing some rumors about you?" I had just watched Remember the Titans the previous night. There's scene in the movie where the football player called "Sunshine" totally kisses a guy in the locker room randomly. Later he his confronted about it by his teammates where he responds "Does it really even matter?" I used those very same words to respond, she was a little taken aback. She then went on to tell me random stories about many of my dad's friends are gay but are living in closet. I dunno if that was some weak attempt to convince me to not be out of the closest. I told her that being gay isn't the negative stereotype it once was. Heck I even explained to her that I had just won a student government office position by being out. Being gay didn't cost me any votes in fact, it might have even won me more votes. But she couldn't even fathom that. We eventually just dropped the conversation and didn't talk about it for a while.
Anyways I finished college and ended up moving back with parents. That's when we got into a big issue about how they felt it wouldn't be appropriate for me to be out of the closet. They kept insisting that my life would be rough and I would be constantly discriminated against. I told them really didn't care, I see no need to apologize or hide who I am. What really bugged me was I got the vibe that it was more about them. Like outsiders would judge them as "failed parents" or something for raising a gay son. It cooled for a bit after that until tonight. I come from a family of doctors, so when I told my dad at dinner that I wasn't really interested in pursuing a career in medicine he wasn't too happy. Now my dad is quite hard to place, as you recall he seemed somewhat alright about me when I wrote the letter 6 years ago. I now would say he's sort of bipolar with his homophobia. Sometimes he's can be uber cool and ask me if I'm seeing anyone and tell me that I could bring that person out for dinner at valentines. Then other times he's the complete opposite. Tonight was one of those times. He somehow took it out on me being gay as the reason why I wasn't good enough for Med School. That I was somehow "inferior" because of my different partner preference. He went on saying that no professor at university could write a good letter about me because I was out of the closet. Sigh ... I just don't even know where to start. He didn't seem to understand that being out isn't as much of liability anymore (especially in the college scene). For the record I had some excellent letters of rec .
The whole matter just got me a tad bit flustered, again I do love my parents I just wish it wouldn't come down to this. I normally just go run a few miles to clear my head, but it's late and I already did 3 miles this afternoon. So I thought it best to write it down in the hopes of getting it off my chest.
I guess I'm figuring out how to patch things up in the long run, right now it just feels like it will be long while before I bring a guy home for them to meet. Even If I managed to tie the knot in the future it will tough just even inviting them right now.
Apologies if this sounded like a rant. I just want all you guys to know I'm glad to have you as friends. I will be alright now, and things will get better when I get myself a job and move out.
Thanks for listening