Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend!! Did you see what Queen Bee Jim Tankersly did when that icky Bernie Sanders tried to come in and take a seat in OUR media lunch room? At one of the front tables no less. Oh he just snapped that little social striver Bernie like the little match stick he is. So he just goes and sits down at a table near us and starts talking like he owns the place. He just starts talking and talking about inequality and hungry children and you know what else. Puhleeeeeze!!! First Booooooring!!! I mean who cares about Bernie and his hungry children. I mean okay, it’s not a great thing, but that’s not what the media lunch room is for – amirite? C’mon, just listening to Bernie talk is exhausting, I feel like I need some something something just to make it to the end of one of his soliloquies.
Bernie, Bernie, is anybody home. Nobody is listening sweetheart. You are just committing social suicide with your little rants. And the whole thing about inequality? I mean that is what God invented K-mart for isn’t it – and by the way Bernie maybe you could invest in a comb and a little gel – just some friendly advice. So he is going on and on about hungry children, and unfairness and deodorant and yadda, yadda, yadda and he is just being soooooo annoying, I thought I was going to scream. And then our boy Jim looks over and without skipping a bit says in her sweetest voice, “You know deodorant is not causing children to be hungry.”
Oh well the table just exploded. It was like a perfect little nerd dagger. I am telling you high fives all around the table. And what did Bernie say? Nobody knows because nobody was listening. It was Jim Tankersly’s lunch room and everybody knew that. Oooooooooh it was so sweet to watch that type of slam. I bet you Bernie is not coming back into our lunchroom any time soon. We are just too cool for the likes of him.