"And modest. I am also the most modest person I know."
So Rand Paul is running for president because his father did and campaigns are inherited via genetic markers and that means I guess we have to pay attention to him and I drew the short straw so here we go. He gave an interview to Salon as part of his strategy of reaching out to non-Republican voters, and like all these things it was primarily focused on how Rand Paul is better than anyone else because he just
gets it, man.
I don’t think there has been anybody who has been a bigger defender of minority rights in the Congress than myself, and that’s not saying others aren’t trying as well.
Rep. John Lewis, please give this man a call.
Q: [O]thers have covered your flirtation with fringe theories such as the National Weather Service buying ammunition and the UN seizing firearms. How do you explain those earlier statements for voters willing to give you a shot but potentially concerned by these ideas?
Rand Paul: [...]
He answered this one by saying that the government once raided Gibson Guitar with a swat team and about the government sending someone to prison for violating the Clean Water Act, which I suppose we are to take as examples of how the other batshit things he pipes up with could probably be true too if you squint hard enough. And he's a self-licensed ophthalmologist, so he knows all about squinting.
Oh, and he was asked about his state not letting someone run for the Senate and for the presidency at the same time, and what he planned to do about that. His response is that if he's not allowed to run for both at the same time, isn't it the freedom of ordinary Americans that most suffers?
Well, I think making the playing field equal for people across the United States. That’s one reason why we think there’s a constitutional question here. Should people who live in Minnesota get the chance to vote for one of their favorite sons or daughters twice, and people in Kentucky not?
The founding fathers would roll over in their graves if they saw how poorly Kentucky was treating Rand Paul. Ben Franklin would personally come kick Kentucky's ass.
Anyway, Rand Paul says the problem with his party's presidential candidates is that they've been playing it "safe." He clearly did not watch the primary debates, in which Mitt Romney emerged as the only person who party voters thought they could trust to not destroy the planet in a fit of nuclear pique, if only because he would lose money on the deal, but he doesn't want safe. He wants unsafe, meaning for the party to put on its big-boy pants and (gasp) court the womenfolk and such?
We tried safe the last couple of times, meaning the, sort of the establishment. I don’t have anything against Romney, I like Romney, I supported him, but we need someone that goes beyond safe to try to attract new constituencies. [...] I think a lot of people who support the party believe that we will have to reach out to new constituencies, whether that’s African-Americans, Hispanics, young people, women, you name it. [...]
Which we will do by electing Rand Paul, white male conservative Republican who has done more for minority rights than anyone else in Congress—nay, America.
That's all I have the stomach for. Read the rest if you want, but I can only handle so much of Rand Paul congratulating his own brilliance at one time.