Hi all! It's June 1st, and you know what that means, riiiight?
It's PRIDE! This month we celebrate what it means to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and any and all other flavor of fabulousness you can think of!
Now, I can go on about the history of Pride. The history of the men and women who have gotten us to this point. There is a serious story to be told. But I will save that for those who know our history better than I do. For those who remember the days where not only was marriage equality a mere dream, but expressing oneself sexually was a criminal act and going out drinking was an opening for harrasment to the nth degree.
Instead, tonight I want to CELEBRATE! I want us to leave our issues at the door, and focus on the positives in our lives. Let's drown out our sorrows and revel in our joys. I particularly want to celebrate love. The love we have for one another. The love we have for our fellow brothers and sisters, be they gay or straight. The love we want to express and do express every time we say the words "I do!"
To provide an example of such a love, I'd like to share a personal story. You can read some the background here (although it's not necessary to enjoy this particular diary). I am speaking of course, about my own wedding which took place on April 9, 2011.
So follow me below the fold as I tell you a tale of love everlasting... (hey, I'm a newly wed, cut me some slack!)
Our love story started off like any other: we met in front of the Coliseum in Rome while we were both studying abroad... Ok, ok, so maybe that's not like everyone's story. But it is ours!
Fast forward through a long distance "relationship," a few tears, some heartbreak (see prior "relationship"), a few visits, law school, moving closer, commitment issues, open relationship, closed relationship, home visits, family visits, moving to New York together, ups & downs, a surprise engagement party, wedding planning, many more ups & downs, a few more tears (wedding planning can be hell!), and finally, we've reached the main event.
The wedding was in Stamford, CT at the local Marriott. While the Husband did not particularly care, I wanted in a place where it was legal. It mattered to me. And I was fortunate enough to be able to drive an hour and have my dream wedding and have it legal. There's something to be said for that.
The wedding itself was jointly conducted by a Justice of the Peace (the official who signed the marriage license) and by a good friend (to add a personal touch). We wrote the ceremony ourselves which included a short prayer, the traditional vows, and the exchanging of the rings. The J of P introduced the ceremony and said those fateful words: "By the power invested in me by the state of Connecticut, I now pronounce you husbands to each other." And of course, there was the kiss!
The ceremony was short and sweet, just the way we wanted it! Afterward, we had the traditional receiving line with us and our eight wedding attendants - two best men, two groomsmen, and four... ah, screw it, I've called them bridesmaids from day one, I refuse to call them anything else now!
And while the ceremony is a blur in my mind, at least I remember the words we wrote. What came next is even a bigger blur! Let me just say, big Italian families know how to party! Turns out, I had one of the best weddings some of them had ever been to. (If I may slip in a bit of political speech for a moment, that's exactly what NOM and the like are afraid of. We do it better!)
My parents and the wedding attendants were introduced into the reception accompanied by everyone's favorite anthem: We Are Family!
I mean, what other song could we use?! I know some (most?) of the guests caught the extra meanings, though I'm sure it passed over the heads of my grandmothers and my grandmother's sisters. (Yes, there was a surplus of 70/80 year old women. And they danced too! Suck it, NOM!)
The Husband and I danced our first dance to a personal favorite. It took us a while to choose a song, as we had so many we loved, but no single one took the cake. And then inspiration struck. A heartfelt song: Andrea Bocelli's version of I Can't Help Falling In Love.
Beautiful song, ain't it?
Unfortunately, I do not have a picture uploaded to Flickr of just the Husband and me dancing to our song, so you'll have to deal with this one of us and my parents:
Isn't my mother stunning? That's her word by the way. She was happy there was no bride to upstage. And in case you could not tell, green is my favorite color. She was (and still is) so excited about that dress. It was a huge secret until she was able to show it to me in person.
Speaking of mothers, there was a bit of sadness. The Husband's mother chose not to attend. She just could not reconcile her feelings and put them aside for the day. But on a happier note, the Husband's brother-in-law, married to a half sister he hardly talks to, made the trip from Texas. The sister is a doctor and couldn't work out her schedule but he felt the family should be represented. He was a nice guy. We're going to be seeing them again soon, and I hope that I can help my husband become a little closer with his family.
The wedding was no different from your average Italian wedding reception. The food was excellent. The cake was black velvet with cannoli cream. Amazing! And without planning it, we matched the cake topper perfectly:
That was another of my mother's finds. She joked that she spent more in shipping costs than anything else. Hard to find gay wedding appropriate things in Central Florida. She and my brother even created their own cards on line and had them printed. God bless the internet. (Of course, here in NY, the problem wasn't the same. My gay cousin couldn't decide among the gay wedding cards he found, so he bought all three and addressed one to both of us, one to me, and one to the Husband. Fun times.)
We did a mother son dance. The Husband's aunt decided that he should get a dance too and arranged one with the help of his best man and the DJ. It was a nice gesture, again because he is not especially close with his relatives. Weddings, as a celebration, bring out the good in people. (Wedding planning is another story...)
Funny story. My mother has two lesbian counsins. One cousin has been in a relationship for 30 years (will be 31 at the end of the month). The other has been in a relationship for 20 (or so, don't know exactly) years and has a kid with her partner. Both couples came to the wedding. At one point, my mother urged her cousins to dance (both of them are slightly more reserved than their partners). At first they were wary. It's generally not in their nature to dance with their respective others at events like this - especially in front of their mothers! But eventually they must have realized that if they didn't do it then, when could they? And when the next slow song came on, both couples were on the dance floor. Talk about an event!
It truly was a celebration. My family was there. I got to see friends I haven't seen in years. We danced, we talked, we laughed. We thanked CT for allowing us this evening of absolute pleasure. There was a lot of joy in that room. It really was the best night of my life. A night I will always remember.
From that night on, pride has taken on a new meaning for me. It means the pride I felt in standing up before family and friends and professing my love for the man standing next to me. It means the pride I feel every time I look at my wedding ring or introduce him as my husband.
It is the pride I feel when I look at this (another of my mother's Internet creations which is on the fridge at various relatives' and friends' houses):
Floor is open folks. What are you celebrating?